ski fall webLast Sunday, while I was playing golf, a man hit me with a golf ball. I said, “That will cost you five dollars!” The man said, “Well, I yelled, ‘Fore’!” So I said, “OK, I’ll take it!”
The youngster said, “Boy, I’d hate to be a fish.” “Why?” “I’d have to be in schools all my life.”“What position does your brother play on the football team?” Tom was asked. “I’m not real sure,” the boy replied, “but I think he’s one of the drawbacks.”


While hunting, Larry and Elmer got lost in the woods. Trying to reassure his friend, Larry said, “Don’t worry. All we have to do is shoot into the air three times, stay where we are, and someone will find us.” They shot in the air three times, but no one came. After a while, they tried it again. Still no response. When they decided to try it once more, Elmer said, “It better work this time. We’re down to our last three arrows.”

Admit it: To most people, “seniors” and “sports” don’t go together. Guess it depends (no diaper jokes!) on what you call a senior and what you call a sport. If “hole in one” describes your stockings, “draft” means “Get the shawl,” and “racket” describes your neighbor, you’re a senior!

Not every joke can be a home run, but we’re almost done — then you can run home.

They also serve who only stand and wait — unless you’re playing tennis.

My wife claims I’m a baseball fanatic. She says all I read about is baseball; all I talk about is baseball; all I think about is baseball. I told her she was way off base.

Three senior golfers were griping. “The fairways are too long.” “The hills are too high.” “The bunkers are too deep.” Finally, an 80-year-old put things in perspective: “At least, we’re on the right side of the grass!”

COACH: “And remember — football develops individuality, initiative, and leadership! Now, get in there and do what I say!”

I’m worried about my wife.She just bought me a deerskin coat for a hunting trip!

BOXER: “Have I done any damage?
TRAINER: No, but keep swinging. The draft might give him a cold.

 

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