Perhaps you don’t celebrate the “traditional” western holidays, e.g., Christmas, Easter, Thanksgiving, Groundhog Day, and the rest. Here is a short list of some obscure holidays you can add to your calendar if you’re feeling left out or hungering for another reason to stock up on Amazon gift cards. These are from the Internet, so they must be real!

• January 25 Clashing Clothes Day (Every day for me)
• February 24 World Sword Swallowers Day (Go ahead, tell me you actually know one!)
• March 15 Everything You Think Is Wrong Day (Perfect for an election year)
• April 4 National Tell a Lie Day (See March 15)
• May 14 National Dance Like a Chicken Day (for the Pennsylvania Dutch among us)
• June 1 National Say Something Nice Day (even to someone dancing like a chicken)
• July 1 International Chicken Wing Day (see May 14, with caution)
• August 18 Bad Poetry Day (Sounds good, like a holiday should)
• September 1 Chicken Boy’s Day (What’s with chickens?)
• October 27 Cranky Co-Workers Day (Finally, one I can own!)
• November 3 Cliché Day (It is what it is)
• December 12 National 12-hour Fresh Breath Day (That might eliminate Cranky Co-Worker Day)